a little newsletter treat to tuck you into bed <3
alt title: surprise! sunday scaries means i'll do anything but think about work
hi! i’m here for my (now-annual) newsletter, just in time for you to read it and allow its contents to lull you into a peaceful slumber ,,,,,,,
zzz……
oh, still here?
fun fact: this silly newsletter thingy has 115 (???) subscribers? i find this kind of nuts because who is signing up in this day and age to receive Emails In Their Inbox anymore?
speaking of, i recently went on an unsubscribe rampage because i was tired of getting nudged by random stores every hour, and i swear to god if i was even slightly more persistent i’d probably make a killing from some ~ftc reports~ on companies violating the can-spam act … because some of those unsubscribe buttons? are not unsubscribing!
ok, that’s my long convoluted way of saying — thank you! it is really nice to know this goes to a captive audience who reads it despite my refusal to capitalize ‘i’.
okay now to the point
(totally expecting some unsubscribes once this newsletter goes out, but optimistically will ignore this likelihood): faithful subscriber among population 115, who no doubt was patiently awaiting the next installment of on a tangent instead of going about their day-to-day life: you may be wondering, what event has brought me back to writing this newsletter?
pretty simply put: i'm off social media* as of TWO MONTHS, and therefore at my wit’s end (read: moderately bored). honestly though, this is the positive conclusion of some of my previous writing on social media and how it makes me feel like my brain is melting out of my ears.
*not active on instagram, tiktok, and twitter; not using it on web, mobile, or app form. which leaves facebook (occasionally used to find furniture and also find out who got engaged), linkedin (vomit), pinterest (i will never leave her), reddit (web version, because my neighborhood reddit is how i find out where to eat next and also what that loud sound on 36th and 23rd was), and a few new apps - see below!
pros:
no longer feels like my brain is melting out of my ears
i feel more in control of what i’m doing when i’m on my phone — obviously i’m still spending time on my phone, but now i religiously maintain a duolingo streak, complete all of the nyt games, and record everywhere i eat on beli
i’m shopping way less: i estimate i’ve spent at least a thousand dollars less this year on purchases motivated by my phone
it doesn’t feel like i’m strapped to an electric chair forced to keep up-to-date with the mundane updates from that one girl i met in a bar bathroom 6 years ago
no more discourse and things that make me very angry, but only temporarily
i read the news slightly more than before vs. relying on social media
more time on fun, newer social concepts:
retro.app (like 1 second a day meets insta), beliapp.com (stack-rank everywhere you’ve eaten), letterloop.co (make a newsletter where all your friends are co-authors)
none of these apps have a ‘never-ending feed of content’ feature, which make them really pleasant to use + non-addictive
shout out to alyssa for introducing me to retro + letterloop; thank you anna for persistently plugging beli (my presence on that app should make up for the fact that i’m never going to watch the 200+ tiktoks from you awaiting me)
cons:
i talk to about 10 whole people (this could be a pro depending on how you look at it) — but generally the concept of an acquaintance is very different. the time scale of ‘getting to know someone’ is either much longer (because i don’t have many ways to learn more about them until i see them again) or much faster (because i might prioritize spending time with them vs. passively observing them on social media)
i’m on slack (work) wayyyy more >:( out of the sheer desire to read some content
information channels feel less diversified: much less access to information that isn’t readily available on more mainstream news channels / sites
i’m not going to lie, the first month off socials was really hard. i didn’t feel ‘withdrawal’ persay and the need to redownload apps, but i did feel pretty unwell for at least two weeks: very isolated, bored, sad, with a lot more time to feel anxious about everything immediately in front of me: work, family, relationships, etc. etc. etc.
by now though, i feel like i’ve stabilized, and i’m reaching the point that i wanted to reach all along: i’m looking to divert the emotional and mental energy i used to pour into social media, into new hobbies, my friends, this newsletter (knock on wood) etc. etc. etc. i don’t think i’ll return to social media.
i’m thrilled to be here and i hope to stay in this happier, more fulfilled groove throughout the winter despite the best efforts of a sun that sets at 4 p.m. (cruel and unusual punishment).
the girlbossification of christina
close friends know this: an unfortunate (?) arc of christina in the past two years has been my rapid rate of girlbossification. without diving deeper into my own personal thoughts on what that means (and also why we tend to look at ‘girlbosses’ with a mix of disgust, disdain, and also respect), it basically means that i have swung hard into the world of self-optimization. this is largely due to my sense of my time being taken away from me, and me wanting to claw it back.
i think there’s a razor-thin tight-rope when it comes to trying to improve yourself: on one side, a yawning gulf of falling prey to a hamster wheel carefully designed by capitalism to keep you perpetually dissatisfied and yearning for more; on the other, a malaise and sense of ennui that keeps you from changing up your day-to-day and growing as a person, friend, and member of a community.
i haven’t figured out the perfect balance and frequently pendulum between the two gulfs (e.g., i purchase a peloton during the same year where i’ve written one (1) newsletter), but i successfully tried a tactic for a full year where i tracked daily how i did against five things i cared about: (1) working out, (2) spending no money, (3) learning/reading something, (4) flossing (lol), and (5) having a good day.
disclaimer: not advocating for everyone to do this, just stating that this worked as a way to improve myself while not beating on my failures. i didn’t really assign definitions or rigor to trying to improve how i did from month to month — just by tracking these habits, i felt more accountability to myself than i ever have before and feel that i can end the year knowing i’ve grown as a person. i’m also shocked (and proud) to have maintained this for a full year!
i wouldn’t be a girlboss without a graph, so here’s how i did:
conclusions? i should probably invest in a water-flosser.
in all seriousness, i did conclude that summer months are good for me (i was popping off in july), that work intensely affects if i have a good day or not (you can guess when i quit my job), and that duolingo is my saving grace (it’s why i started reading/learning daily with so much more consistency). i also quit social media around late september and credit that with increased overall stability.
other things + what’s next
i know better than to promise a newsletter soon, but i do think that all signs point to more of these, especially since i have fewer avenues to catch-up with people that i don’t talk to every week. if you’re one of those people: please text me (or i will text you) because i likely miss you and am wondering about you.
or, i can spare you the effort to catch-up and you can continue to voyeuristically read what i’m doing from afar:
my r.e.p.o.r.t. (Reading, Eating, Playing, Obsessed with, Recommended Treat)?
thank you alyssa for keeping me up-to-date with tiktok trends, including the r.e.p.o.r.t
reading:
emily henry for some feel-good romcoms (thank you anna - wow alyssa and anna each get two shout-outs in this newsletter. remember when i said i talk to only 10 people?)
ghosts on the glacier (nyt) — extremely haunting read that i read this morning
freedom is a constant struggle: ferguson, palestine, and the foundations of a movement by angela davis and cornel west — being off social media means i feel very uninformed esp on information that doesn’t come through mainstream channels, so trying to patch my understanding
a cure for existential boredom (podcast, rec from mike) — not a read, but i found this podcast really helpful in mapping out my next steps after deleting socials
eating:
soup! amy got me a le creuset dutch oven for christmas and i will be making some very cozy stew/soup this winter. two recipes i really enjoyed recently: green garlic & ginger chicken and rice soup (i recommend less jalapeno, otherwise it tastes like a giant bowl of salsa) and japanese-style beef stew
at new places: beli has encouraged me to try more new places in nyc vs. settling into my comfort spots. tried this past week: giant 5-pound italian sub (gill informs me this is a hero) at sal, kris, and charlies; albanian food at dua kafe; xiao long bao at deluxe green bo
playing:
pokemon violet: i dusted off my switch recently to fight off the urge to scroll. violet is significantly worse than arceus, but the hilarious glitches are very entertaining
an Adult (capital A): i am somehow the youngest person at my new job again
obsessed with:
making matcha and espresso at home: i talked myself into buying an espresso machine by saying it’d be cheaper than buying coffee every day and funnily enough this is actually becoming truer every day
every app doing a 2023 recap: did they totally rip off spotify? yes. do i Love to Learn More About Myself Via Data? yes.
side note: it’s so sick and twisted how much validation I Feel being told i’m top x% at something. like top x% at being a loser on my phone? yes.
my friends’ pets. every day i yearn for a little guy to return home to. good thing i can reliably fill the gaping hole in my heart with strawberry and buster :’)
telling everyone to get their data off mint and deleting the app so they don’t support the terrible parent company behind turbotax <3
recommended treat:
just going to make this into a combo holiday-shopping and listening recommendation list
shopping local for holiday presents. it feels way better, it is literally better, and it’s Immediately In Your Hands
a silly phone call with a friend while on a walk. even when it’s freezing cold outside, this is a guaranteed pick-me-up
leuchtturm1917 planner. this is the planner that i successfully used for a year, the user experience is just that good.
an episode of normal gossip. season 1 is the best (by far)
that’s it for now. sweet dreaaaaaams!
Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays!
go july!!